Bringing him · for parents and guardians
He needs thisnow.
Plain, unhurried, specific. Why the weekend exists, who is responsible for him, what the money covers, how the three days run, and what to expect when he gets off the bus.
Why this exists
Young men needto be initiatedinto something.
Every culture that lasted had a way of marking the passage from boyhood to manhood, witnessed by men, involving real challenge, ending in a return to the community as someone new. Most of us grew up without one. Many of the men on this team did.
Brad Leslie and Andy Vine started the Young Men's Adventure Weekend in 1990, for every young man who needed it, and for the betterment of mankind. The Society's purpose, in its own words, is to provide the leadership, community and environment for young men to discover themselves and test their limits, to build their confidence, to create a safe space in which to be vulnerable, and to awaken the power in a young man that lets him overcome life's challenges.
It is non-denominational and it is deliberate about character. Five values run through everything, and the men coach by them all weekend. T.E.A.M.S.: truthful, excellence, accountable, mindful, service. The men hold themselves to a code and to fourteen written standards, and they hold each other to them out loud.
It is not therapy, not a boot camp, not a church retreat, and not a summer camp. It is a rite of passage, built on the shape of the hero's journey, run by volunteers, for thirty-six years.
Safety and standards
Who is responsiblefor him.
Every man has a criminal record check.
Through the BC Criminal Records Review Program. No CRC, no weekend. No exceptions.
Never alone with a young man.
The buddy system is the first standard the men sign. Every man is visible to another man at all times.
A safety team, first aid, and a plan.
A designated safety manager, first-aid trained men at the Quest stations and the water, an emergency plan, and your emergency contact on paper before the bus leaves.
No drugs, alcohol, or tobacco.
Not at the weekend, not in the 24 hours before it. For the men as much as the young men.
Confidentiality.
What your son says in the circle stays there. What he chooses to tell you afterwards is his to decide.
Fathers on the team step back.
If you volunteer, your son belongs to his team and his shadows for the weekend, not to you: you're placed on another team, and you don't hover. It's one of the men's fourteen standards, and other men give him the weekend while you give it to someone else's son.
The full list of the men's fourteen standards, and the Man Code they live by, is on The Men. Thinking of coming as a father? Here's how that works. Ask any of them about it at the bus stop; they'll be glad you did.
What $320 covers
Everything.To the meal.
One flat fee, $320 CAD, by card, Apple Pay, Google Pay, or e-transfer. Non-refundable unless the weekend is cancelled. The Society is a volunteer non-profit; the fee covers costs and nothing else.
If money is the reason he'd stay home
Tell us. There is financial assistance, there are sponsored seats, and there is work-to-earn, where a young man earns his own seat through community service. Many young men choose it. It's part of the initiation: taking responsibility for his own journey. Choose "assistance" at the end of registration and a man will call.
The bus
Langley and Burnaby, there and back.
Eight meals
Cooked over fire for fifty by a kitchen crew. Dietary needs handled, labelled, never made a special case at the table.
Tools and gear for camp
Tarps, rope, axes, saws, first aid, water. He brings his own sleeping bag and clothes.
The Quests
Designed and run by the program team with safety men at every station.
How the weekend runs
Friday duskto Sunday lunch.
The bus, the hike in, teams and shelters Friday night. Morning circle, breakfast, the Quests all day Saturday, the summer-camp afternoon, dinner, then the circle. Sunday: Future Plans, the acknowledgments, the game, the walk out, the bus. The whole shape of it, in six parts with a real frame from each, is on its own page.
How the weekend runsSunday night
When he getsoff the bus.
- 01He'll be tired. Properly tired. Feed him and let him sleep.
- 02He may not want to talk about it right away. That's normal and it's not about you.
- 03He may want to talk about it for three hours. Also normal.
- 04Ask what he wrote at Future Plans. He may show you. Don't push.
- 05Watch for the small things in the weeks after: how he speaks to his sister, whether he keeps his word, what he picks up without being asked.
- 06Many families come back. Many fathers end up on the production team. The men will tell you how.
The bus leaves in
Register him.
One form, five minutes on a phone. His four agreements are his to sign: hand him the phone, or we email him a link. Your consents and the payment are yours.