His path · to you, 12 to 17
Someone thinksyou're ready.
They might be wrong. Only one way to find out. Here is exactly what happens, what's hard, what nobody makes you do, and what you come home with.
Straight
Not a camp.Not a course.Not therapy.
A bus takes you and a bunch of other young men north into the Squamish wilderness on a Friday afternoon. The men are already there. They built the camp that morning. They paid to be here, just like you. Most of them have done this for years; some of them did it as young men.
For three days you live in a world run by men who take you seriously. You'll work with your hands, compete, fail, eat a lot, sleep outside, and sit around a fire at night. On Sunday you'll be acknowledged in front of your team for what you actually brought, and then you'll walk out between two lines of men and get back on the bus.
This has happened since 1990. More than a thousand young men have done it.
What's in it for you
Straight talk,young man to man.
This is about you.
Who you are and who you want to become. Not about the adults in your life, and not for them. The world is full of people you can't control. You have a say in how exactly one of them operates.
Nothing here gets reported.
No interrogations. Nobody phones your parents or your teachers. What you say and do here stays here, unless your actual life is at risk.
Not a clinic. Not therapy.
No doctor's office, no couch. This is men doing what men do, closer to a coach and an athlete than anything else, built to bring out your best self.
Tools you'll actually use.
For your own head: managing your thoughts and your temper, getting out of a friend group that's dragging you down, building habits that hold in the real world.
Your life, run by you.
Figure out what you want out of it, become the man you want to be, and learn to talk to adults on your own terms. The more you run your own life, and the more responsibly you run it, the less anyone else will try to run it for you.
A place you earn.
Like it or not, every man earns his place in the world or quits. You're young, not less than. You're like a new man on his first job: you learn, you get good, and you end up respected, working shoulder to shoulder with men to get the job done.
What's hard
We'll say the hardpart first.
Your phone stays home.
Three days. Everyone survives this, including you. Around Saturday lunch you stop noticing.
You hike in with your gear.
It's real work. It's meant to feel a little risky. It is safe: men who've done it before will guide you.
You build the shelter you sleep in.
Tarps, rope, a knot manual, your team. Nobody does it for you. It's a better sleep than you'd think.
The Quests will ask for something you don't have yet.
Nerve, strength, wits: nobody brings all three. What you're missing, someone on your team has, and what he's missing, you have. That's the whole idea of a team.
Saturday night you sit in the circle.
Men talk. Young men who want to, talk. Nobody makes you. What is said there stays there.
What nobody makes you do
You're a young man,not a hostage.
- Nobody makes you speak in the circle.
- Nobody makes you swim, climb, or do anything the safety man hasn't checked.
- Nobody hazes anyone. That's not what this is, and the men would end it in a second.
- Nobody preaches. It's non-denominational. Five values, no creed.
- Nobody films the circle or the ceremony. The photos and film the men take are how the next young man finds this; if one of you ever bothers you, say so and it comes down.
But you get out what you put in.
Five questions
You'll hear theseall weekend.
The men don't preach. They ask. Five words, one question each, and they let you answer it. By Sunday you'll be asking your team.
T.E.A.M.S.
- T
Truthful
Genuine and sincere in your words and actions, to others and to yourself. Face reality with courage, admit mistakes, and do what is right even when it's difficult.
“Are you being truthful?”
- E
Excellence
High standards, brought every time. Out of your comfort zone, into the challenge, and through it. Never settling for mediocre.
“Are you striving for excellence?”
- A
Accountable
Own it when you fall short of who you want to be. Make amends. Keep your commitments, to yourself and to others, and stay open to feedback.
“Are you being accountable?”
- M
Mindful
Be here, fully. In tune with yourself, your emotions and the people around you, not lost in the past or the future.
“Are you being mindful?”
- S
Service
Present and ready to improve a situation. Help when asked, not to be seen. Lead by example and put the greater good over recognition.
“Are you serving others, or just yourself right now?”
- And one more: Team. As steel sharpens steel, so does one man sharpen another. That is the value of a team.
What you come home with
The one who comes homeisn't the one who left.
Something a man gave you.
Your shadow watched you all weekend. On Sunday he tells you what he saw, and gives you something to remember it by.
A line you wrote yourself.
At Future Plans you write down what you're claiming and where you're going. It's yours.
Knots. Fire. An axe you're allowed to use.
Skills men taught you because you asked.
Fifty men who'll know your name.
In a barbershop in ten years. At the bus stop next September.
Your part
Say yes. Then sign your name.
Whoever's bringing you fills in the boring parts. Four agreements are yours alone: read them, initial them, sign them. That's how the weekend starts, on a phone, before the bus.